We are creatures of habit, and when we go through a period of transition, it is frightening. You have these visions of disaster. Change can really upset your sense of security. The ability to change is the number one skill to have today. If you are receptive to change, you’ll see opportunities for greater happiness everywhere from your workplace to your marriage.

The hardest thing to change is a hardening of attitudes; nothing kills change faster than attitudes that resist it.

Failures stem from two sets of words: “I can’t” and “Yes, but.”

Those adept at change don’t reject good advice just to prove they aren’t being controlled by those who give it.

Complaining is good if it isn’t a substitute for action–but it often is.

High self-esteem results from making small positive changes in spite of fear. Confidence comes from conquering fear of change.

Fear of commitment. Fear of commitment to goals can make one stop short of setting appropriate goals. Commitment forces an answer to a tough question: “What do I really want?”

Fear of the unknown. Better the devil you know than the one you don’t. The unspoken message from society says when change occurs, you will lose control.

Fear of failure. You know if you commit yourself to goals for change, then you can measure if you fail.

Balancing pleasing oneself with pleasing others is often difficult.

Choices and options are all open. One can make new choices anytime.

— Adapted from Taking the Fear Out of Changing, by psychologist Dennis O’Grady.